I almost never have dreams involving the band, and when I do, it’s generally something lame like I’m trying to drive to a concert seven hours away and I’ll never make it in time. I had a great one a few years ago in which Nelly collaborated with the band for a remix of “Dizzy,” except when they released it, they called it “Eel” instead. And then I had a ridiculous fragment of a dream last night that I would like to share, just because it cracks me up.
The few times I’ve had interesting dreams about the band, it’s not stuff where I’m hanging out with them or they are in any way aware of my existence. It’s shit like I’m watching a youtube video of John giving an interview in which he reveals he has a secret teenage daughter, or I’m buying a non-existent remix in a record store. In last night’s dream, I was watching TV, and John and Beyonce had collaborated on a song and were going to perform it together for the first time ever to open some awards show. As the performance was starting, my dream-self was thinking, This will either be brilliant or a trainwreck.
It was, of course, a trainwreck. All you really need to know is, the first two lines that John sang were:
Why you gotta be like that?
Tell your sistas to get off my back
Fucking seriously, only I would dream up a scenario where John Rzeznik is forced to sing the word “sistas” in front of like millions of people. Someone please make this happen, I need that song as my ringtone immediately.